Building up or Tearing down?

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." ~ Prov. 31:23

At the top of every man's list of needs is "Respect".  A man desires to be respected by everyone including his wife. It is no coincidence that in Ephesians 5:33, God calls wives to respect their husbands. 

Did you know that you have the ability to lift up or tear down your husband?  Yes, our actions and our words have so much power and influence. Many of us are more verbal than our husbands. Well, at least, I know I am,  because I always have a lot to say about anything and everything. Sometimes we can challenge our husband's decision making or make them doubt their leadership skills. Submitting to and encouraging our husbands to be leaders can be very challenging but it is possible if we spend more time listening and less time talking.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." ~ James 1:19-20

E.V. Hill served for many years as a Pastor at Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles. When E.V. first began in the ministry, he was a hard worker who wanted to provide for his wife, but he was also a young preacher who struggled to make enough money just to pay for the necessities.

Pastor Hill’s wife appreciated his efforts to protect and provide for her, even though some months there wasn’t enough money to pay all the bills. One night, he came home and noticed immediately that the house was dark. When he opened the door, he saw that his wife, Jane, had prepared a candlelight dinner. He loved the idea, but when he went to the bathroom to wash up, he flipped the light switch and nothing happened. Then he went to the bedroom and tried the lights. Again… there was nothing. The entire house was dark.

He went back and asked his wife why the lights didn’t work. Jane began to cry and said, “You work so hard, but it’s rough. I didn’t have enough money to pay the electric bill. I didn’t want you to know about it, so I thought we would just eat by candlelight!”

Dr. Hill described this experience with deep emotion: “My wife could have said, “I never had this happen in the home I was raised in.” But she didn’t berate or blame him. Instead she said, “Somehow we’ll get these lights back on, but tonight let’s eat by candlelight.”

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Prov. 25:24